The Haiku

Offense is ailing;
Mets honor Mariano
with a free guest pass

The Game

Today’s recap will be written as a tribute to the late, great Billy Mays.

CHUCK BUONO HERE TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE NEW YORK METS!! WANNA ROOT FOR A TEAM WHOSE BASEBALL IQ IS IN THE NEGATIVES*??? MEET THE METS!! WANNA SEE YOUR TEAM LITERALLY GET LAUGHED AT ALL WEEKEND BY THEIR CROSS TOWN RIVALS?? MEET THE METS!! WANNA WATCH A BUNCH OF PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL PLAYERS KICK THE BALL AROUND ON DEFENSE WHILE SLEEPING THROUGH THEIR TIME ON OFFENSE??? MEET THE METS!! WANNA WATCH YOUR TEAM SUCCUMB TO INJURIES AT AN ALARMING RATE AND THEN WATCH YOUR BUMBLING MEDICAL STAFF MISDIAGNOSE ALL OF THESE INJURIES?? MEET THE METS!! WANNA HAVE YOUR DELUSIONAL GENERAL MANAGER STAND BY AND NOT MAKE A MOVE WHILE YOUR TEAM’S SEASON SLOWLY GETS FLUSHED DOWN THE TOILET?? MEET THE METS!! WANNA ROOT FOR A MANAGER WHO IS BASICALLY CALLED AN IDIOT ON NATIONAL TELEVISION BY FAILING TO REALIZE THAT HE SHOULD WALK A HALL OF FAME HITTER TO GET TO A PITCHER WHO WOULD BE MAKING HIS THIRD CAREER AT BAT?? MEET THE METS!!! HOW BOUT THEN HAVING YOUR CLOSER WALK THE AFOREMENTIONED PITCHER MAKING HIS THIRD AT BAT WITH THE BASES LOADED TO WALK IN A RUN??? MEET THE METS!!! YOU CAN HAVE ALL THIS AND MUCH MORE: A STADIUM THAT IS A SHRINE TO ANOTHER FRANCHISE! A MINOR LEAGUE SYSTEM THAT IS DEVOID OF ANY TALENT! AND DID I MENTION SEPTEMBER COLLAPSES IN TWO STRAIGHT SEASONS THAT SAW YOUR TEAM LOSE OUT ON A PLAYOFF SPOT BOTH YEARS ON TH E LAST DAY OF THE SEASON??? THIS CAN ALL BE YOURS! ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS KISS YOUR SANITY GOODBYE AND ROOT FOR THE NEW YORK METS!! IN FACT, YOU CAN GIVE IT A SHOT AS EARLY AS TONIGHT AS THE METS HEAD TO MILWAUKEE TO TAKE ON THE FIRST PLACE BREWERS AND THEIR BENCH COACH WHOM THE METS FIRED AS THEIR MANAGER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT LAST YEAR. THAT’S RIGHT… IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT! NO OTHER FRANCHISE WOULD EVER DREAM OF DOING SUCH A THING! YOU CAN’T PASS THIS OPPORTUNITY UP… CALL 718-507-TIXX AND BECOME A FAN OF THE NEW YORK METS TODAY!

*Stepping out of Billy Mays character for a second, I must say that in my 31 years of watching baseball, I have never seen a first baseman try to throw out a runner at third base on a ground ball hit to him. Never once. Maybe if it were a force at third base and Mo Vaughn was the runner trying to advance, but even then not a good play. Even if Mo Vaughn was wearing a suit of armor… still not a good play.

The Boxscore

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 R H E NY Yankees 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 4 4 0 NY Mets 0 0 0 2 0 0 0 0 0 2 5 0

NY Yankees AVG AB R H 2B 3B HR RBI BB SO PO A Jeter, SS .309 2 1 1 1 0 0 0 3 0 3 3 Swisher, RF .237 2 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 0   Hughes, P, P .000 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0   a-Matsui, H, PH .246 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0   Bruney, P .000 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0   Rivera, Ma, P .000 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 0 0 Teixeira, 1B .276 4 1 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 12 0 Rodriguez, A, 3B .232 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 3 0 0 4 Cano, 2B .297 4 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 7 Posada, C .272 3 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 0 7 1 Cabrera, Me, LF-RF .286 4 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 Gardner, CF .289 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 1 0 Wang, P .000 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1   Coke, P .000 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0   Damon, LF .288 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 Totals .271 27 4 4 2 0 0 4 11 2 27 16 a-Grounded out for Hughes, P in the 8th. BATTING 2B: Jeter (15, Hernandez, L), Teixeira (22, Hernandez, L). RBI: Teixeira 2 (60), Posada (33), Rivera, Ma (1). SF: Posada (off Hernandez, L). GIDP: Cano 2, Wang. Team RISP: 1-for-8. Team LOB: 8. BASERUNNING SB: Cabrera, Me (5). CS: Cano (3). FIELDING DP: (Jeter-Cano-Teixeira).

NY Mets AVG AB R H 2B 3B HR RBI BB SO PO A Murphy, Dn, 1B .246 5 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 2 6 0 Cora, SS .252 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 6 3 Wright, D, 3B .342 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 1 Sheffield, RF-LF .280 3 1 2 0 0 0 0 1 0 2 0 Tatis, LF .254 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 3 0   Rodriguez, F, P .000 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 Martinez, F, CF .169 4 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 2 4 0 Schneider, C .233 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 1   a-Santos, O, PH-C .273 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 Castillo, L, 2B .279 3 0 1 0 0 0 1 1 0 3 4 Hernandez, L, P .111 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1   b-Reyes, A, PH .143 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0   Feliciano, P, P .000 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1   Green, S, P .000 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0   Reed, RF .282 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 Totals .272 30 2 5 1 0 0 2 6 8 27 11 a-Flied out for Schneider in the 6th. b-Grounded into a forceout for Hernandez, L in the 7th. BATTING 2B: Martinez, F (6, Wang). RBI: Martinez, F (7), Castillo, L (16). S: Tatis (off Wang). GIDP: Wright, D. Team RISP: 2-for-10. Team LOB: 9. BASERUNNING SB: Castillo, L (8), Wright, D (20). FIELDING DP: 3 (Castillo, L-Cora-Murphy, Dn, Hernandez, L-Cora-Castillo, L, Cora-Murphy, Dn).

NY Yankees ERA IP H R ER BB SO HR BF Wang (W, 1-6) 10.06 5.1 4 2 2 3 3 0 23 Coke 3.31 0.1 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 Hughes, P 4.44 1.1 0 0 0 1 1 0 5 Bruney 2.84 0.2 0 0 0 2 1 0 4 Rivera, Ma (S, 18) 2.93 1.1 1 0 0 0 2 0 5 Totals 4.47 9.0 5 2 2 6 8 0 38

NY Mets ERA IP H R ER BB SO HR BF Hernandez, L (L, 5-3) 4.04 7.0 3 3 3 5 1 0 26 Feliciano, P 2.56 0.2 0 0 0 2 0 0 4 Green, S 5.40 0.1 0 0 0 1 0 0 2 Rodriguez, F 1.23 1.0 1 1 1 3 1 0 7 Totals 4.16 9.0 4 4 4 11 2 0 39

Team ER: off NY Yankees 2, off NY Mets 4. BB: off Wang 3 (Schneider, Cora, Sheffield), Hughes, P 1 (Castillo, L), Bruney 2 (Wright, D, Tatis), off Hernandez, L 5 (Rodriguez, A, Gardner, Jeter, Swisher, Rodriguez, A), Feliciano, P 2 (Jeter, Teixeira), Green, S 1 (Rodriguez, A), Rodriguez, F 3 (Gardner, Jeter, Rivera, Ma). IBB: off Hernandez, L 1 (Rodriguez, A), Feliciano, P 1 (Teixeira), Rodriguez, F 1 (Jeter). SO: by Wang 3 (Wright, D, Murphy, Dn, Murphy, Dn), Coke 1 (Martinez, F), Hughes, P 1 (Cora), Bruney 1 (Martinez, F), Rivera, Ma 2 (Santos, O, Reed), by Hernandez, L 1 (Cabrera, Me), Rodriguez, F 1 (Teixeira). HB: Cora (by Wang). Pitches-strikes: Wang 85-49, Coke 6-4, Hughes, P 16-10, Bruney 15-6, Rivera, Ma 23-16, Hernandez, L 116-56, Feliciano, P 16-8, Green, S 10-5, Rodriguez, F 38-18. Umpires: HP: Mike Winters. 1B: Jerry Layne. 2B: Tony Randazzo. 3B: Chris Guccione. Official Scorer: Howie Karpin. Weather: 69 degrees, partly cloudy. Wind: 10 mph, Out to CF. T: 3:38. Att: 41,315.

The Win Probability Added Graph

The Credits

Recap by Chuck Buono
Haiku by Howard Megdal