Mets Geek » Meet the Rays!

October 22, 2008

Meet the Rays!

by: R.J. Anderson on Oct 22, 2008 2:15 AM | Filed under: Articles

Over the next 24-plus hours a ton of baseball sites are going to throw conventional previews up. Some will be focus on why one of the two teams will win the World Series, the others will be general scopes of the opposition. And then there is this one, in which I’m going to give you an oversight of the five Rays players you’ll fall in love with before this series ends.

B.J. Upton: B.J. is short for Bossman Junior: his real name is Melvin Emmanuel. It doesn’t matter what name he goes by, because he’s going to remind you a lot of Carlos Beltran, and the mention of how shallow he plays in center is going to drive you insane when you realize he still makes plays deep. Great arm, and while a torn labrum in his non-throwing shoulder zapped his power it appears a two-week layoff has allowed Upton’s phenomenal bat speed to return in the post-season. Unfortunately, Upton has been booed at home, in part due to idiotic radio hosts who started a smear campaign on his effort and cited things like his lackadaisical running and tendency to strike out looking on inside pitches as a reason he needed to be traded. In response, “Boo Him Now” has become a common catchphrase to the Upton supporters during the second half of the season. Of course, after the news of his labrum injury came out one radio host speculated the Rays faked the injury to cover up his “bad” play. Beloved by most long-time fans, but overshadowed by Evan Longoria in the mainstream, Upton’s not going to swing at anything outside of the zone and if he gets a high fastball inside the ball is likely going to end up in the stands.

J.P. Howell: Despite his initials standing for James Phillip he tells people they really stand for Jarvis Prince. A huge Bach and classical music fan, Howell radiates southern California culture. His pre-game meal is PB&J and a bag of Doritos, every game. Howell doesn’t throw hard, but his breaking stuff is pretty effective, and, despite what Tim McCarver is going to say, Howell is not a situational lefty—his previous starting experience allows for him to go multiple innings if needed.

Matt Garza: The ALCS MVP, Garza is insane. Literally. He can be found pre-game jamming to Tupac or Chamillionaire, or simply talking to himself. After a blow-up with Dioner Navarro, manager Joe Maddon had a friend (and ironically a sports psychologist) meet with Garza in order to help Garza harness some of his energy into focus. Since then Garza has consistently looked like a different pitcher. Along with breathing, Garza’s body automates his spitting into an every-few-seconds activity.

Evan Longoria: Very much like David Wright, only with a sweeter contract. Longoria turned most of Boston against him by proclaiming that “It’s over now, Boston!” in a bar after game four. Obviously, things didn’t end quite as quickly as planned, but Longoria is the face of the Rays for his charismatic and at times fiery demeanor. Oh, and he plays baseball really well, but prepare to hear how the young man defied the odds of experience due to his large heart, or something.

David Price: Named Velociraptor Jesus. No, that’s not a nickname; in fact his birth certificate lists it as his legal name, but kids can be so cruel that Jesus’ parents decided it would be best to go with a “normal” name. Price makes the fiddling cats fiddle and the furries do whatever in the world the furries do with his 95+ MPH fastball and sweet, sweet slider. Price will not close, but rather will rove (more like prey) until a left-hander like Ryan Howard comes up and allows Joe Maddon to release him from the cage. If nothing else Price and Chad Bradford allow for some of the workload on Howell and Grant Balfour to be lessened. A lot like Howell in that he can go multiple innings and face both lefties and righties without much incident.

So there’s the five to allow into your heart. That was not overly analytical, and I avoided using the “K” word because I have manners.

10 Responses to “Meet the Rays!”

Comment posted by mookie03 on October 22, 2008 at 8:37 am (#881542)
I think i just fell in love with Bossman Junior.

Go Rays!
Comment posted by Danny on October 22, 2008 at 8:41 am (#881543)
I loved this article. A lot of fun.

Of course, after the news of his labrum injury came out one radio host speculated the Rays faked the injury to cover up his “bad” play

hahaha Yeah, that .383 OBP and good defense in center has no value! Upton and the smear job about his hustle remind me way too much about what the media in NY tried to do to Jose Reyes (and honestly, what Gary Cohen on the Mets TV network still tries to perpetuate.) I love Upton’s game and think he’s going to be an uber-star.

J.P. Howell

I loved the background info on him. He’s what we hope Jason Vargas can become if we get lucky.

After a blow-up with Dioner Navarro, manager Joe Maddon had a friend (and ironically a sports psychologist) meet with Garza in order to help Garza harness some of his energy into focus.

I did not know this. Very interesting. Garza’s stuff is ELECTRIC. If the mental part of his game has really improved, he’s a stud.

Oh, and he plays baseball really well, but prepare to hear how the young man defied the odds of experience due to his large heart, or something.

Well, he IS a white guy that is really good at baseball, so that often gets confused. This guy obviously is a David Wright clone and is awesome.

Named Velociraptor Jesus. No, that’s not a nickname, in fact his birth certificate lists it as his legal name, but kids can be so cruel that Jesus’ parents decided it would be best to go with a “normal” name.

I don’t even have words for this fact.

Comment posted by TLC on October 22, 2008 at 8:44 am (#881544)
Nice Article! I am rooting hard for the Rays
Comment posted by bcuster on October 22, 2008 at 8:58 am (#881551)
why wasn’t scott kazmir included here as one with whom we could fall madly in love?

Comment posted by The Mad Stork on October 22, 2008 at 10:02 am (#881585)
I love watching them play, and I’m thankful that they are in the AL East so that I can continue to watch them every time they play the Yankees. I hope there is no letdown next season and they continue to play fun, hard nosed baseball.

The rating are gonna suck out loud on this WS, but I will definitely be watching.

Go Rays!
Comment posted by sheadenizen on October 22, 2008 at 10:32 am (#881663)
I’ve liked this team from the get go. And on days I’ve had the Mets up to my eyeballs (too frequently this past season) I’ve threatened numerous times to become a Rays fan. Now, I can proclaim I am! Go Rays!
Comment posted by bcuster on October 22, 2008 at 4:58 pm (#882178)
kazmir is going to pull off a 1968 WS mickey lolich-like performance. 3 victories, including game 7
Comment posted by Athena on October 22, 2008 at 6:00 pm (#882195)
Excellent article, R.J.! Thanks so much for the background. I really enjoyed it.

As usual, Mookie and I are fighting over the same player! And I love him even more if he is being undervalued by the fans. But she declared her love for Upton nine hours earlier than I, so I’m going to have to go with LHP David Taylor Price. 95+ mile an hour fastball? Wowza! Be still my heart!

why wasn’t scott kazmir included here as one with whom we could fall madly in love?

Ummm, because you’re already in love with him? ;-)
Comment posted by mookie03 on October 22, 2008 at 7:47 pm (#882235)
As usual, Mookie and I are fighting over the same player! And I love him even more if he is being undervalued by the fans. But she declared her love for Upton nine hours earlier than I

well, what can i say, athena - you have good taste in baseball players.

That said…NICE, i win! :)