The Game

“The first time is funny, the second time is silly, the third time is a spanking” — Ed Meese

The Mets fizzled in Philly for the third straight night, scored only two runs for the third straight night, and wasted great starting pitching for the third second straight night. The combination of Philadelphia’s laughable rotation and bandbox park makes the disappearance of the New York offense all the more mysterious. The 3-2 Met loss caps the strangest vanishing act Philly’s seen since the USS Eldridge evaporated in ‘43.

Also going up in smoke was a tremendous effort from Oliver Perez. He gave up solo homers to Jimmy Rollins and Pat Burrell in the first inning, both on high fastballs; you figured he’d be gone by the third. But where he usually melts down faster than an overtired toddler, last night he stayed focused, keeping his head and his team in the game. He switched to the slider and struck out five of the next ten hitters; when he got in a jam, he found some extra gas in the tank to throw his hardest fastballs of the night. You can’t spell Oliver Perez without ‘Poize.’

Ollie figured he had little reason to worry; giving up two runs in an inning is only a venial sin here at CBP. The Mets had a first-inning homer of their own, a bomb to dead center off the bat of David Wright, making the early 2-1 Philly lead no more than a rounding error just waiting to be fixed. On cue, Carlos Beltran ripped a double to lead off the fourth, and Carlos Delgado rapped an outside pitch to left to bring him home. Tie Game! The Mets have tied the game! Yeah!

Once again, the New York highlight reel ended early. Crafty veteran left-hander Jamie Moyer kept the Mets at bay the only way he knows how — nibbling at the outside corner and getting the strike zone of Tom Glavine’s wet dreams. He also “pitched to contact,” i.e. gave up the loudest outs you’ll ever not hear in the box score. Last but not least, he benefited from the fact that Jose Reyes was too gassed to get on base or stay there; he reached base twice and quickly got picked off twice. Give him a day off or five.

The Met scoring ended after four innings, but the Pheisty, Phiery Phillies just kept at it. They loaded the bases with nobody out in the fifth on two singles and a walk to the pitcher. (For shame, Ollie, for shame.) Pat Burrell hit a grand slam — foul, sending the Philly announcers into fits of agony and ecstasy. He settled for a sacrifice fly. Reigning MVP Ryan Howard came up with two aboard and one out; clearly looking for a walk, he watched a 3-2 pitch line the outside corner for a strikeout. Ollie blew it by Aaron Rowand to end the inning with only one run gone, shifting the momentum and prompting a furious rally by the New York bats.

Or not. The Mets went quietly — too, too quietly — in the sixth, seventh, and eighth. In the ninth, agony. Paul Lo Duca singled off Brett Myers with one out; Marlon Anderson, pinch-hitting gold, delivered a single to send pinch-runner Endy Chavez to third. Shawn Green came off to do what he does best, grounding out to the middle of the infield — but for once, too slow for the double play. Chavez scored to tie the game at three for a nanosecond before C.B. Bucknor called interference on Anderson to end the game. Do we blame Bucknor, the notoriously bad umpire who tossed Wright on Monday, or Anderson, who practically put a bear hug on the Philly second baseman? The correct answer is (C) It’s Willie Randolph’s Fault.

The Haiku

Marlon Anderson
Pinch-hitter extraordinaire
Leads Mets in tackles

The Boxscore

The Credits

Recap by David Simons
Haiku by Howard Megdal